Me from Myself

Back in some attempts of communication

2008-12-05T11:23:00.003-05:00

::Ahem:: So, trying this again.

It has dawned on me that working alone in an office with no windows most of the week has created a strange need to communicate whenever possible. I wouldn't say I'm people-starved, but expression-starved. Spreadsheets and woodpaneling for hours on end do not make for the ideal workspace.

So, here goes. Hello, again.

Sometimes, I just get really busy ...

2008-02-26T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hello friends,

Well, March is coming in like a lion ... Below are some updates and dates to be saved. There's something in here for everyone, so come out to what you can and support some good art!

+ The Mixer Series had a fabulous kick off earlier in the month. So fabulous that we'll be mixing up performance artists again in April at the Bowery Poetry Club, where we really do feel at home. Many thanks go out to The Project for their music and their willingness to work with crazy dancers. Our soloists all came in with great material and seized their moments. Our poets delivered beautifully; we found some really beautiful matches in the night. We're looking to build this into a regular series with new artists each round. D

ates dates dates ....

+ March 6,7,8,9 7:30pm/5pm: Barbara Mahler appears in SOAKING WET, curated by David Parker at the West End Theater. Those names alone tell you why you should go!

+ March 7,8, 14, 15 8pm: Anything Goes! presented by the Darby Players of Chaminade High School. I'm proud to say that the majority of my kids can single time-step and learned a little bit about the 1920s, Cole Porter and all his tricks. Tickets are $5. If you are on Long Island, please consider supporting these kids, they've worked hard and it should be a great rendition of a classic.

+ March 10, 24: We Three Productions Biweekly Reading at the Telephone Bar. this is a wonderful series, and its FREE. email telreadings@gmail.com to get on their list!

+ March 14, 15 8pm: Sharing the Legacy Series presented by the Hunter College Dance Program. Kaye Playhouse (E68th between Lex and Park Aves). These performances are part of a conference series held every other year at Hunter College that focuses on dance history and repretory. This year 11 colleges from across the country are coming to perform and participate in the conference. Tickets are $10, $5 students and seniors, free for Hunter students w/ID.

+ March 15th, 7:30pm-2:00am: Clash of the Artists! 320 Studios, 320 West 37th Street (between 8th & 9th Ave.) Art for Progress' annual event that brings out the best in emerging art, sound, film and fashion. These are artists who know how to party. Join the fun! www.artforprogress.org (proud member by the by)

+ March 17 and 18, 8pm: Niles Ford/Urban Dance Collective at Dixon Place. Witness the power. www.dixonplace.org, www.nilesfordudc.com

+ March 20-22, 27-29, 8pm: If You See Something ... Artichoke Dance Company at Dixon Place! Artichoke is guarenteed to steal your heart as they have mine, if you haven't seen them yet, do yourself the favour and see them in this great space. Lynn even documented her work for this piece! www.artichokedance.org

+ April 3-5, 8pm: Hunter College Dance Company's Formal Spring Concert. Kaye Playhouse (68th between Lex and Park Aves). New works plus repertory from Susan Marshall, Blondell Cummings and Mark Morris on the Company. $10, $5 for students and seniors, free for Hunter students w/ID.

+ April 10th, 8pm: The Mixer Series continues!!! Bowery Poetry Club (Bowery between Bleecker and Houston). New sounds, new sites and the ultimate testing of the Chance theory. And a great bar. Really, what more could you want? Oh yeah, that's right, I host ;) a whole $3 donation. www.myspace.com/publicactsofdecency

How, you may ask is she going to get to all these things? I don't know, but it'll be interesting ... I've had the honor of working on the majority of these shows in one capacity or another, or I've previously worked with the artists. Everything is guarenteed to be a great experience. Explore those links instead of myspace or youtube today and check out what's going on.

Finally, if you are an artist eager to work with someone who sends out an email with so many wonderful dates ... or you just want to perform at the Bowery Poetry Club, email us at publicactsofdecency@yahoo.com -- Submit some materials, a bio and contact info so we can throw you in the mixer!

Thank you everyone for your support -- keep coming, keep going, I look forward to seeing you soon!

Stay warm!
Patrice

2008-02-19T23:36:00.002-05:00

Apparently, my company is real. My life is less so, but if I were to pick which I wanted to be real, it would be the company.

I'm thinking of working at a museum. Or getting a PhD. It is an interesting and broke time.

Here's my company's update, also available on .. yup, you guessed it, myspace.

Hello friends, fiends, foes and hoes ....

2008 has already proven to be a wonderful year for PaOD -- here's an update!

+ The Monkeytown benefit was a fantastic evening introducing us to the world. We were flattered to work with the artists who presented and honored to have our audience members join us. The night proved that we have great taste in food and art!

+ The Mixer Series is officially up and running! Our first mixer took place last week at the Bowery Poetry Club and featuring the sounds of The Project, the words of Melissa West and Dan Lau and the moves of some of our favourite dancers. We could not have picked a better "cast" to put this experiment into motion with. Each dancer brought something different to the stage while the Project played their experimental jazz sounds that got everyone into the spirit of chance and uninhibited performance. Melissa and Dan's works proved that music is not limited to instrumentals.

Special thanks to the Bowery Poetry Club for hosting us. The club has long been a home and haven for us, to be hosted by them was a true honor.

A special thanks also to Olivia Shank, the new poster child of PaOD. Olivia put her moves where her mouth was - right to the bar! The spirit of improvisation was a wonder to witness.

THURSDAY, APRIL 10TH -- 8PM -- that's right, its another round of mixing and matching, shaking and stirring. We are booked for another night of chance at the Bowery Poetry Club. Artist sign up is open - email us at publicactsofdecency@yahoo.com and start spreading the word.

That's the dealie-o.
Thanks for everyone's support, we look forward to seeing you!
Cheers,
Patrice & Laura

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Mark your calendars, sign up to play. Laura and I dress real nice and I host and tell people to drink, its a good time.

Tired. Its true.

Grassroots-in It

2008-02-12T13:51:00.000-05:00

Hello friends,
This is your reminder to come out this Wednesday night to Public Acts of Decency's first Mixer of 2008 at the Bowery Poetry Club. The doors open at 7:30pm, show goes 8-9:30pm, bar is open til 10pm. Admission is $3 which benefits your favourite company (us, PaOD), we're asking you to booze up a bit too (read: drink minimum). We believe its in the spirit ...

Public Acts of Deceny presents
The Mixer Series!
Wed, February 13th
doors 7:30pm/Show 8pm
$3 + drinks
Featuring ... the sounds of The Project, the words of Melissa West, Dan Lau, the movements of Elesea Douglas, Gavin Alexander and more!

Come out and play!
See you Wednesday!
-Patrice

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Exhausted, broke and a little hungry. Yep, I must be an artist. Please come if you're in the country.

2008-01-30T09:39:00.000-05:00

Guiliani and Edwards are out. THANK YOU POSSIBLE DEITY.

Let's go Ron.

In other news, I am currently doing Anything Goes with high schoolers and will be doing High School Musical with elementary school kids. My life is full of jazz hands and small paychecks, but somehow it's a better way.

Well, if Tori Amos is there, I guess it's alright ... (or how iTunes saved my relationship to music)

2008-01-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

I resisted the iTunes store, for years. Sure, the occasional purchase of a single here and there, but never a full blown album. I mean, I'm old-school, I like .... all that plastic. I like ... annoying music stores that mislabel .... I never had a good reason, except perhaps, a fear of addiction. Click and get music? Napster was dangerous enough, and that was free.

Then, I discovered an unused iTunes gift certificate that somehow made its way into one of my "to file" piles that I haven't touched in, well, a long time. And I started to download ....

and am totally hooked.

First, it was the joy of the music I've recently come to enjoy. Read: Thievery Corporation. Yum. Then ... it occured to me that the coffeehouse rock genre I once championed (thanks, Long Island) is probably in full force in the gigantic iTunes store. Coffeehouse rock still makes me smile, as my downloading of the lovely KT Tunstall shows.

My full acceptance and possible slide into iTunes purchasing addiction came with the brilliant realization that now, as an adult with a credit card, I can finally own all of Tori Amos' work. Tori Amos touched my heart as a mere freshamn in high school and has since taken much of my lifes journey with me. But, I paid for dance class (don't worry, lots of my early contemporary classes used her anyway), and lacked the Amos' funds. Napster, then its follower limewire held me over for some time. The P2P age was ended with the slash of Metallica's corporate sword, so my music collection was then deferred to the cd's of classic rock my mother and I shared. Occasionally I managed to pick up a Tori Amos cd here and there, but those funds soon were deffered to coffeehouse musicians (see above). When I moved out I made the dreadful mistake of further deffering those funds to such causes as: Canadian travel; vodka; more musicians.

I've learned the error of my ways. I am back to Tori, thanks to iTunes.

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Sometimes I wonder how much of my tone is fully conveyed here ....

I wrote this after turning off a dreadful BBC hour (why is everything conveyed with the same sense of urgency?) on the Kenya situation. I'm trying not to think about how little the world makes sense.

Pandora's aquarium
She dives for shells
With her nautical nuns
And thoughts you thought
You'd never tell I am not asking you to believe in me
Boy I think you're confused
I'm not Persephone foam can be dangerous with tape across my mouth these
Things you do I never asked you how
Line me up in single file with all your
Grievances
Stare but I can taste you're still alive below the waste ripples come and
Ripples go

[tori amos]

that's the stuff ...

Ohhhhhhhhhh-Eight

2008-01-15T01:22:00.000-05:00

So, I suppose my goal is to post about something that isn't political or sorbetish.

.... My company is real. Our first major benefit is Thursday night, at a restaurant in Williamsburg with a decent back room. Laura, my partner and I, have built this benefit mostly from scratch, with help from our venue (read: no charge for the space) and using all our wits and talents at once. It's been an adventure and I've entered into that fine love-hate relationship of having an independent company. I'm trying not to burn out on the business of it all, even just thinking of it makes my head spin ... I spent my afternoon in the studio, trying to choreograph and ended up rolling on the floor most of the time. I'm just about at capacity is all, after Thursday I'll feel better, financial base in hand ready to open an account, get checks and file with The Field for not-for-profit status. That is actually when the real work begins. I'm thinking of auditing a business class or two in the next little while, the idea of an MBA in nonprofit management even ran across my brain. It seems like a poor use of my money though ...

Thursday's line up includes my Newspaper Suites, three dance solos with live music, a solo with original recorded music, two music sets, vocal pieces from a new musical and a trio dance that is just hilarious. We're a little dance heavy, but we're okay with that for now especially since we're both working on the theater end of relations ....

I'm working part-time at a Long Island prep school doing their show, have another teaching job on the horizon in Westchester and am quitting my godawful bar job. I'm looking for a new bartending gig and am not upset to be taking a break from it. Amidst this, I was offered an acting bit for a one act festival and am considering it. Just to see if I can do it. It scares the shit out of me.

Also, I saw Sweeney Todd tonight. And have to say that once I got over the mime/nightmare-before-christmas cake makeup look, Johnny Depp grew on me as Mr T. The supporting cast though I fell in love with and was incredibly impressed by. Tim Burton might need a vacation as I'm certain I saw some Edward Scissorhands shots in there ... then again, a pale Johnny Depp, some shiny sharp objects, an attic with a large window and some snazzy hand motions ... well, at least this chorus was singing Sondheim's gorgeous score and not just ahhh-ing through Danny Elfman (... don't get me wrong, I love Elfman's work ... when he's not recycling). Casting was brilliant, that's for sure. With leads to get you to pay bloody $11.50 to see it, surprises and let me repeat how great the supporting cast was. Orchestration was beautiful, Johnny Depp sings and cuts throats like a rock star and they worked around what's her face's lack of a voice. She did look the part, in a Tim Burton kind of way.

And I'm moving up in the world: I got a new bed and I'm pretty set on converting the second bedroom in my apartment into an office -- that is, if I can get it written off on my taxes. I'm mostly certain I can since I do so much work from home. Yay freelancing and starting a company ....

It might even snow again someday.

More sorbet

2008-01-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18016618

Twice on NPR ... that's how cool he is.

Warning, politics

2008-01-08T11:12:00.000-05:00

Cricket, cricket ...

I've been totally immersed in the company's benefit, which takes place on the 17th. It's scary, wonderful, completely overwhelming .... but mostly incredible, when people ask me what I do I can say I am in the process of starting my own company. Additionally, my part time youth theater gig started this week - we're doing Anything Goes with only two actual tap dancers - and I'm shopping for a new bar gig/teaching gig. There's a possibility of being trained in some ballroom and teaching people how to foxtrot for their weddings ... will the wedding business ever not suck me into it? As a live artist, I fear not.

Anyway, like any other good pseudo-intellectual I'm rather fascinated with the debates. And by fascinated I do of course mean frustrated. I'm a total radical in the democratic sense: I don't believe that networks should choose who gets to take place in the debates, I believe in campaign finance reform (because I believe in the middle class! Rise!).

Three things have really truly struck me. Bill Moyers interviewed both Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich after they did not appear on the Iowa debates -- both were "ineligible" though neither could tell you why. I was pretty blown away by these interviews, they're really worth listening to if you care about your political soul. It was one of those wonderful examples of showing how congruent the fringe of both parties is - both held some fascinatingly similar views of major issues. This go around I'm leaning towards Ron Paul - his economic grounding is reassuring. There's a "safety" (for lack of a better word) in a candidate who understands function and form of government and can pull numbers (that actually add up) to back up theories. No other candidate has truly done this. Kucinich is just too darling for big time politics. He knows this it seems. He knows he's fighting a fight (mainly with mainstream media) that is more than an election. He earned my respect with this. It's a shame his rhetoric gets so lefty; he actually said in the Moyers interview "[more] equal distribution of wealth ...". He proceeded to define what he meant, but that kind of rhetoric is just too spiritual.

(There is a spiritual side of politics, Marx is a large camp in this, where the rhetoric is incredibly moving and romantic but ultimately ... empty because there's no true form and function to it ... you know, like religion :P ... Really though, it is important, vital even to believe in politics, to have that what some might call humane side to it - but it can't be everything.)

The other striking event was of course, Hillary's emotional moment. Oh, there is no winning with this one. She's a woman, she's a politician. Politician's aren't supposed to feel / isn't it so female of here It's so human of her/It's so beautifully female to be able to show emotion and be strong ......

No winning. Brian Lehrer's NPR program has been exceptional the past two weeks; today he had a call-in session regarding Hillary's moment and asked callers if this impacts their political view of her and her potential candidacy... Interesting responses, but it all came back to her being a woman. Like it would only be a woman to crack (staged or not) in such a public forum. One of the callers did make an interesting point, he said "It's one thing if your leader cries after something like 9/11 but its another for a potential president ... a leader who has to face China and Russia" .... As we all know, Russia and China kill you if you cry .... And I don't recall Giuliani crying after 9/11. As a matter of fact, I don't think the man has tear ducts. If he did though, it would have been justified because of a catastrophe ....

I don't think it matters much. Staged or not, once again we are caught up in two disastrous thought currents that have been controlling this election: 1. describing things not as they are but as they aren't (ie Hillary isn't a man, Obama isn't white); 2. the special effects of the show and not the text (let alone Subtext!). This is all too typical of American elections, especially presidential, it just seems incredibly heightened this year. It's my biggest gripe with Americans and our political culture. It's the age of MTV, ADD and the WB (well, CW now) and our elections are reflecting (affirming?) our culture.

What Hillary said though -- she was responding to the sympathetic question, How do you do it? -- made me realize why I, Ralph Naderless, am throwing my hands up in the air and waiting for this to be over (I'm not registered in a party, so I can't vote yet anyway. Thanks America for respecting my independence). She was talking all about the differences - And she and Obama have been in this little dialogue of the outsiders coming in. If you listen, you can hear them nodding to each other on stage, only to then throw the dagger of experience/optimism at the other --- but I'm going to vote for someone because they're black? because they're a woman?

I want the glass ceiling to be broken. I want racism not to be a factor. I want equality.
But
hasn't Condoleezza Rice just proved that being a woman, that being black doesn't mean you'll do the right thing?!

Here are some links that are related:
You were wondering when I was going to mention this ...

Bill Moyers: Ron Paul (listen to all three parts)
Bill Moyers: Dennis Kucinich

Mmmmm ....

2007-12-19T12:03:00.000-05:00

What a nice collage of press material, I wonder who made that ....
Can you really blame a girl?

Eve was framed.

2007-12-17T21:09:00.000-05:00

I just finished an academic paper that has been about eleven months in the making. Wow. It needs editing, polishing and I have this funny feeling it'll be continued one day, but for now, the initial birthing process is over. What a lovely holiday gift to give myself.

I wonder where Judith Butler stands on the Sally/Harry debate?

2007-12-16T18:11:00.000-05:00

It took me a long time to come to Hemingway, but its happened, mostly because of gender study type things. Two things worth sharing from The Sun Also Rises:

"Caffeine puts a man on her horse and a woman in his grave."

"Women made such swell friends. Awfully swell. In the first place, you had to be in love with a woman to have a basis of friendship. I had been having Brett for a friend. I had not been thinking about her side of it. I had been getting something for nothing. That only delayed the presentation of the bill. The bill always came. That was one of the swell things you could count on. "

I really enjoy the fact that Jake essentailly makes the When Harry Met Sally argument. At least Harry could, ahem, pay his bill though ...

Whatever Happened to Christmas?

2007-12-15T13:06:00.000-05:00

If you know where that title's from or who sang it, I will buy you a hot chocolate ...

There is possibly nothing better than the weekend afternoons I spend doing work at home with Jonathan Schwartz on. I love the radio, I'm so afraid that radio is a dying communication art (damn you video). Sketching, writing and Jonathan Schwartz telling stories of Frank Sinatra or Ella Fitzgerald ... ah, there it is, the proof that my soul is indeed 90 years old.

I suppose I should mention Christmas. In New York. Because it is that time, Times Square is full of lost tourists, amazed that so many lights stay on past midnight, Fifth Avenue at dusk was an absolute mess yesterday, Salvation Army bells ringing .... It is beautiful. It is a really magnificent time of year here, one where I get to point people in the right direction -- no, do not take the express, you'll be in harlem next -- and i have those "wow, i really live here" moments.

I haven't gone to the tree, I haven't ice skated or done much of anything Christmas. I did my shopping, which is mostly done at the Strand or at the various fairs and markets that pop up; i engaged in one of the consumer mad rushes for a gift, pulled strings and thus became an awesome girlfriend (oh the money we spend for love) .... Perhaps I am over loaded by the amount of OMG XMAS -- CHRIZMASS!1! --- all the adds, windows, lite fm playing the same josh groban christmas songs over and over (and .. over) again -- I just feel less Christmas this year, I feel more concerned with my work, with money, with getting through to the 31st so I can join in this weird notion that a new year means change.

I did however, make a pilgrimage to the Metropolitan Museum of Art yesterday. Just why I would choose to do so on a Friday in Christmas time is beyond me. Yet, nothing in all the world warms my heart more than walking north on Fifth Avenue, along the park, bundled up and the feeling of reaching that magnificent building (its like Araby, but better because the museum is open). I was raised in the museum; and for all the high art/low art debates I engage in, I still love it. It has, since the exit of that establishment known as the church from my life, become my temple, my sanctuary. When my heart is heavy, i grab a notebook, donate the last of my dollars for a metal button and spend hours with the impressionists and post-impressionists, in the temple of dendur, sketching in the greek and roman sculptures. And the angel tree is up, and somehow, 2pm on a Friday, there was not a crowd about that Baroque creche (which is a fantastic piece, for so many cynical and less-so reasons). The christmas music plays, the tree sits in the opening of the Russian imperial gate and I think, how does one city acquire so many pieces of human history? It became Christmas, at least for a moment, I looked at that tree, I felt six years old and excited by the lights, the music, the anticipation of a day spent celebrating.

More interesting for everyone not me - Ghiberti's Gates! There are three pieces from the Gates of Paradise, which very well may never leave Italy after this little New York stint. I've only recently acquired a deep appreciation for Renaissance art, so it is extra exciting to have this new appreciation blooming as something so wonderful is at my fingertips. They are incredible. The craftmanship is mind blowing - and the cultural read you can do! Oh it is delicious for anyone who cares anything about the Italian Renaissance. My favorite cultural/historical (non-compositional?) details: 1) in the Adam and Eve plate, the centered event of the story is Eve's awakening out of Adam, there SHE is front and center (oh Sophia!); Adam's creation however has the highest relief (it is the most forward in dimension); 2) The Arabic-izing (i made that word up) of Goliath's men in the David and Goliath piece. I was lucky enough to overhear a museum worker talking with a friend of hers and she pointed out that during one of the great periods of the Roman Empire, it was thought barbaric to wear pants in battle (think of say, Middle Eastern people that the Romans would be fighting) -- so Goliath's men all have pants on as well as turbans. Woa. Also, the featured moment of the story, instead of the traditional David winding up for the sling of a lifetime, its David beheading Goliath. Republicans eat your heart out.

I'm going again with a group from my Leonardo Da Vinci and His Times seminar on Thursday.

Merry merry ....

2007-12-04T09:21:00.000-05:00

There is no finer marriage than food and literature ....

http://www.amazon.com/Kafkas-Soup-Complete-History-Literature/dp/0151012830/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b

Except perhaps, alcohol and literature ...

http://www.amazon.com/Hemingway-Baileys-Bartending-American-Writers/dp/1565124820/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b

Lord, if there was ever a book written for me ... :)

In other news, if you'd like to be invited to the January benefit, get me your address, seats are limited and the food will be delicious!!

Points of Interest, perhaps

2007-11-29T14:43:00.000-05:00

Today's awesome points:

+ two weeks notice for the day job in
+ possible new bar job
+ jamba juice
+ indie rock radio station. i so hip.
+ gallery show opening thing tonight

+ the strike being over. I mean, I'm just sick of it ... also, I'm eating some of my own words:
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/11/broadway-lockout-survival-guide/

Though I really don't feel that Cirque Du Soleil, Chita Rivera or the goddamn Christmas Spectacular don't need more press, it's very reassuring to read this (a week late ... oops).

In other words, you should come to my benefits!

Merry and Bright and Dates to be Saved

2007-11-26T15:44:00.001-05:00

Sorry if this is repeated info for some of you, just working to get the word out!

Hello Beautiful People --

We, Public Acts of Decency, are thrilled to send you an email filled
with dates that we beseech you to save! We are excited to be getting
this going and have been in touch with a number of wonderful writers,
musicians, dancers, actors and everything in between. We have lots to
share with you and hope to see you on ....

+ Thursday, December 20th -- A Not-So-Silent Night at the Village Ma
(Macdougal Street by Bleecker Street, West Village). Lots of song,
lots of laughs, lots of drinks. $13, includes one drink! 8pm. Our last
fundraiser of 2007, join us for a one last go before we break into 08
...

+ Thursday, January 17th -- (This Will Be) Our Year -- Kick off 2008
with us at our first official fundraiser, a cabaret of independent,
emerging artists. New dance, new music, new words, all for you. Served
up at the beautiful Monkeytown in Williamsburg (N. 3rd between Wythe
and Kent). This is the real deal, a beautiful meal with some beautiful
performances, our way of saying, here we are world. Details on their
way soon.

+ Thursday, Feb 14th -- Mixer #1: Everlasting Love -- there is no love
stronger than that between dance and music, performer and audience.
Join us for our own mixer where we pair great artists with one another
for one rehearsal and present it to you. With drinks, of course.
Details to come!

We're excited to tell you we have an official email address,
publicactsofdecency@yahoo.com -- So if you get some emails from there
(we are converting our email lists over, bit by bit!), don't be scared
and don't classify us as spam. It's just us reminding you that your
next good time is coming up .... In other news, we've received some
wonderful submissions from emerging playwrights, writers and composers
and are in the process of planning our projects for 2008. Some more
public acts of art are coming to NYC as well as a full production
later in the year. Until then, we're busy fundraising, grant writing,
networking and getting all the right paperwork for an umbrella
organization, allowing us to have not-for-profit status. And you know
what that means ... tax deductions for you!

That's the news thats fit to print.
Please, press that forward button and spread the good word.

We look forward to seeing!

Peace, love and understanding,
Patrice
(Artistic Director, Public Acts of Decency)

2007-11-23T17:19:00.000-05:00

The longer I live in New York .... the more I love Seinfeld.

2007-11-22T21:32:00.000-05:00

Happy Turkey/Tofurkey/Politically Incorrect-Day --- also known as Thanksgiving.

I hope everyone was able to eat and rest a bit today :)

2007-11-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

I've always loved blackouts. Not ones that last days on end mind you, but when something over sparks and its a summer night and all of the sudden all the lights in your town go off. With all that light pollution gone, you really see the stars. With the option of TV gone, people walk out to the streets, light candles and talk with their neighbors. Of course, power outages that last longer thana couple of hours throw things horribly off, and you lose most of what is sitting in your fridge, things spoil.

(Here's my awkward transition to explain the poorly crafted metaphor)

With Broadway black, I could only hope that more stars were seen in this goddamned city. I haven't heard much about how Off-Broadway and others have been doing because I've been completely self-absorbed . All those non-union techs, the great work being done on budgets less than one million dollars, I'm hoping against hopes that this blackout on broadway was what it should have been .... Of course, things are spoiling. Mostly the wages of actors who kill themselves for Equity cards (for security ha!), the merchandise workers, the ushers ... Actually, my only bone to pick with this is the economics, it is hurting more of the good guys than the bad guys. For Dionysus' sake, Young Frankenstein with $400 tickets is still open ...

This seems more like some kind of weird battle on the city or something. I'm curious how this will look in retrospect -- probably almost as ridiculous as the great MTA strike of 2004. Right in the smack of holiday season, the one time of year New York workers count on for some money in their pocket - and a time when the shows are packed ... unfortunately strikes like these prove the danger of unions to other workers. Where as unions are built to protect workers, when they operate in a context like Local One or the MTA where other workers depend on them directly, most of their strike actions hurt other workers rather than the top dogs of employment. What did it really say when Bloomberg, who is chauffered daily in a car, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge with New Yorkers who actually had to do that to get into Manhattan? What does it say when Mary Poppins and Young Frankenstein stay open and charge lots of money for tickets? It says, Unions are silly and the big guys look better in contrast. Bloomberg shared the common New Yorkers plight for a whole hour! More than those workers were doing ... and not every bulb is out on Broadway, those silly union workers don't know what their striking against, clearly some people can work still ....

Now, of course its more complicated. It always is. But in the end, to the people who are flying in to see the parade, the tree, and a show and to all those tourists who came in to shop in 04, it doesn't matter how much of rubrix cube this all is.

Anyway, if youre in New York I hope you supported Off Broadway and independent theater. You'll live without Les Mis and Rent, I promise (those employed by those shows, on the other hand ...).

As Jesus sang, Alas, alas for you ....

(yes, I definitely managed a godspell reference).

Usher Call

2007-11-16T09:10:00.000-05:00

USHER CALL!

T. Lion Dance/Bodystories next show
Into and Out of Our Skin
our city
our life
our country
our being

is seeking ushers.

December 1st and 2nd, 8pm @
BAAD (Bronx Academy of Arts and Dance)
Take the 6 train to Hunts Pt. Ave. Walk under Bruckner Expwy 1 block to Garrison Ave. Make right. Go 2 blocks to Barretto. Make Left and go to 841 Barretto.
(www.bronxacademyofartsanddance.org)

The show is a multi-disciplinary dance show with live music. About five ushers are needed on a volunteer basis each night.

Ushers are invited to stay and watch the show (for free!), and will also be invited to the reception.

Call for ushers will be 7pm.

If interested, please email Stage Manager/Asst. Producer Patrice Miller with contact information and availability: patrice.miller.1@gmail.com

If others have their will Ann hath a way ...

2007-11-14T09:58:00.000-05:00

So I'm in the midst of planning an initial fundraising campaign for Public Acts ... We're shooting for a monthly something. November looks like a reading/comedian/karaoke night, December a holiday Rocky Horror and January hopefully we can pull together a real nice cabaret night and present it somewhere moderately classy. I'm hoping to hook up musicians, dancers and writers for it. We'll probably do a drinking night in there too, though I'm thinking that may be the perfect Valentines day fundraiser ...

Trying to put all the pieces together and take the right steps at the right time. First thing is money, it always is. I'm looking forward to when I have the platform to put the art together; I have this overwhelming desire to pay artists.

I started this duet that's up at the Works in Progress concert this week at Hunter. I wrote a word-scape to it (I'm hesitant to call it a poem because then it sounds like interpretive dance). I think its actually the beginning to a much longer piece I've been struggling to understand in my head. Its pretty exciting. Also very strange to sit in a dress rehearsal and only have to worry about 1:30 of the whole thing.

..... Oh yeah, and Broadway's still black. I don't have a very, oh you might say educated, opinion on this mostly out of my frustration with the Broadway community. And while 98% of the time I am sympathetic with Local 1 (as the sister and friend of many a-tech and occasionally one myself) ... but League/Local squabbles recently are ridiculous. Here's a good Times article to familiarize yourself a bit with whats going on ... ( http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/arts/14broadway.html?_r=1&oref=slogin) -- Ahem, I won't mention that the article fails to plug the independent theater companies that are still running and who should be the ones getting the ticket sales of broadway ..... but thats a journalistic issue ........... Anyway, as I was saying, the bigger picture, I applaud the stagehands for having a union, I support unions or at least, in theory I do I don't think they exist as they need to/did ... but in the right here/right now I'm just shocked that this even happens. It just adds to the crap pile of reasons musical theater can't be taken seriously ... Also brings up some interesting monopoly issues here. How much of the tourist buck is going to these hands in a city filled with art? ..... I just hate the league, I hate the exclusiveness of Broadway and am praying that when this high time in New York is over, Broadway becomes accessible .....

Oh well, at least our transit system isnt on strike like in France ... (knocks on wood).

As Joyce wrote,

Phall if you but will, rise you must: and none so soon either shall the pahrce for the nunce come to a setdown secular phoenish ... (Finnegans Wake)

(I believe I'm officially pretentious now that I've linked to the Times and quoted Joyce ... ah, now on to my port and literary criticism)

2007-11-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

A prediction for myself: in ten or so years, I'm going to take a year off from my life and tour with Rod Stewart, fulfilling my lifelong dream of being his backup singer hand motion choreographer / interpretative dancer.

Can you imagine?

I do have real things to say, but first I have to put out calls for writers and the like ...

Something Rotten in the tate of Transylvania ...

2007-11-09T07:59:00.000-05:00

Either Rocky Horror is coming back to Broadway or something is seriously stinky in these parts of theater town .... I just received an email from Samuel French stating that Richard O'Brian's agent expressed that they do not want any New York Rocky Horror Productions.

..........

Go on, riddle me this one.

First Starbucks in the East Village and now restrictions on the Rocky Horror Picture Show?!

2007-11-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

I'm doing some fundraising planning for Public Acts ... and am looking for writers, musicians and the like who'd be interested in performing/reading/etc at a couple of nights some palces downtown to benefit us. Drop me a line if you're interested!

patrice.miller.1@gmail.com

Some poetry ...

2007-11-05T17:53:00.000-05:00

a preview of sorts for the 19th ...

Virtus

a man sat down next to me in church,
said, i don't believe, but i'm still here
i said, we may the same, i like the feel
of the wood on my knees, it may be
painful like forgiveness

he asked me where god was,
i said, i always thought
god was in the music and thats
why i became a dancer, i wanted
to breathe the divine

he said it was a lovely thought,
god in the music, the madness
of the abbotts of the 13th century,
then don't you know the church
won't have no dancers? its pagan
to dance in the frenzy of the light

awaiting my forgiveness, i told him
thats why i am still kneeling.

Lauds, Compline

each morning i
wake, drink water,
place the blue pill
in my mouth, "drink
plenty of water" and
pray

please god, i say,
let this be the one.

pills, like men,
flow through me,
numbing me to their own
side effects - please god,
anything

to take away the pain.

i grew up in a clean town
with picket fences and a
neighborhood watch group -
so many eyes watching,

promising. prescriptions
changing, like apartment leases
and relationships - all these
things are interchangeable
for one word,

home. i cannot find it
behind a door, in
a plastic bottle or between
my legs. i lay down
money, one more time lay
down my body and ask
why has this forsaken me?

i follow men
through hallways, still
looking i dream of these
hallways, not unlike
some lost saint, my lips
opening, i wait.

Under the Covers

i screamed once,
it was like swallowing
a cloud, maybe because
his hand caught my lips
before my vocal chords
reached their full
potential and i
thought, screaming isn’t
as good as they say
it is, i felt neither
abandonment or hope,
release or clarity;
his hand stopped
the short a i was
forming, caught it
and all of its
power in-between his fingers;
he said to me,
screaming would do no good
this far beneath the ground
where we managed to bury
each other.
(it was like swallowing
a cloud
full of rain).

-----------------------------------------------------
Monday, November 19th
8pm
Telephone Bar - Second Avenue by 9th Street
Free!
Good food, Good wine, Good words!

2007-11-04T16:38:00.000-05:00

... also, when did I grow up and actually get my own company???

Traveling to the Field this week so we can be not-for-profit under them.

Its funny, one day you wake up and a part of your dream is there ...

Open Call for Y'All

2007-11-04T16:36:00.000-05:00

Open Call for Actors/Singers - Rocky Horror Picture Show!

Public Acts of Decency/Wizard Oil Productions are holding an open call Sunday, November 11th for their new monthly Rocky Horror Picture Show in the West Village. POD/WOP are independent, not-for-profit production companies that produce socially and politically aware and challenging work. Their monthly Rocky Horror is a benefit series, with proceeds going to the companies for future work, most notably a large scale production of Rocky Horror as an AIDS benefit.

All roles are open. Please bring 16 bars of a rock or up tempo song. Be prepared to move, read and improvise.

Considerations for future productions will also be made.

Please email director/producer Patrice Miller (publicactsofdecency@yahoo.com) for an audition appointment. Confirmation with time and location will be sent to you within two days.

Spread the word lovies :)

It's that time of day ...

2007-11-01T12:31:00.000-04:00

yes, that point where, drinking my coffee, finishing some form of carbohydrate (usually muffins) I put on litefm, take a good look around my work place and go ....

What am I doing with my life?

This happens about once a week, when I sit at my desk job. They do this to you. I have this sneaking feeling that god/fate/whomever put this little job in my life - you see I didn't actually sign up for this part, this was to "keep me busy" until a teaching spot opened up here, uh huh ... - to keep me in touch with a world I have earnestly tried to escape. So while most of my time is spent rehearsing, writing grants and proposals, bartending, performing and generally running a (productive) muck and living a very romanti-que New York life, Thursday morning comes around (and does it ever, leaving my apartment at 9am after working until 3am or so) and I am reminded of how the other half lives. Well, in a modified way. After all, there are hippies singing to children in one studio, and an early childhood Mandarin class in the other ....

I'm working on .... or trying to at least, as I am exhausted after the past, well month of my life, to do some "Mommy and Me" lesson plans .... Yes, as of January some upper east side mommies will be paying me to help them play with their children. Don't get me wrong, I believe in music and movement for babies, and early childhood development is an amazing field of research ... I just don't believe that people should have to pay other people to learn to parent. Its experiential, experimental. There are books out there. Websites. There's a theory of socialization here ... who are we kidding though, its the parents who want to socialize with other parents since marriage and children have interrupted their wining and dining ... anyway, I'm learning a lot about sensory development.

I'm excited that Pat Benetar's "We Belong" was followed by Prince.

I'll post some poetry or something mildly entertaining soon. I have lesson plans to develop and some lollipop scrolls to roll ...

2007-11-01T09:02:00.000-04:00

One more date!

Monday, November 19th -- Telephone Bar -- Last We Three Productions Reading of 2007! --- 8pm, Free.

I'm reading! Come eat, drink, be merry and hear some poetry.

2007-10-23T00:43:00.000-04:00

What was that? You want to see me perform and support my endeavors? Here are all your chances over the next week:

Thursday night: Rocky Horror in Concert. Hosted by yours truly! $13 at the door, proceeds go to Wizard Oil Productions/Public Acts of Decency for their future do-good but be-bad productions! The Village Ma - Macdougal by Bleecker. Subways to W.4th, doors open at 8pm.

Saturday: Tompkins Square Park. A preview of the Globesity Festival, with Q & A for the artists. Starts at 5pm, free!

Sunday: Globesity Festival, Theater for the New City. I'm slated for a 4pmish but come by around 1pm when everything starts. Penny Arcade is performing! Free!!

I'm producing/directing the Rocky Horror night, choreographing a new 9 min piece for globesity, performing Friday morning at a high school, production meeting right after ... so many spread sheets, so little time. Spread the word, come and support some good art!

ps - for a whole other show, I am bartending Halloween night. Come by for ghoulish shots from your favourite bartender!

This Over-loooad

2007-10-18T11:54:00.000-04:00

My brain is on overdrive and for a change, I'm quite busy these days ... here's some recent news:

+ Count came in to about 2,000 people at Angels and Accordians on Oct 6th. That's incredible, wonderful. I fell in love with everything there, gave the most honest performance of my life, finally started getting it, getting me ... It feels pretty amazing to be able to answer the "So what have you been up to?" question with an answer that involves 2000 people and a cemetery.

+ Globesity Festival is coming fast and apparently I'm doing it. It's Penny Arcade's brainchild about consumerism/food/america. It sounds interesting and it looks like I'll be doing the pre-performance in Tomkins Square Park on Saturday, Sept 27th sometime around 5pm and I'm performing, solo, in the festival on Sunday, September 28th around 4pm. What's tripping me out right now is that I'm on the same day as Penny Arcade and that my little bio sits above hers on the site: http://theglobesityfestival.org/main/artist-bios/#patrice_miller
like really ... who am i and how did this all happen?

+ Choreographing a duet, my first real duet, for the works in progress show at Hunter. Struggling, but its a good and juicy struggle, and my adviser gave me some interesting thoughts/ideas including the idea of ditching music all together and writing my own word-score. I could be interdisciplinary and collaborative with myself. Talking about schism-forming ... (November 13th-17th)

+ Rocky Horror Benefit is coming along, love the people involved. Particularly thrilled to be working with my sister, back to our weird and wonderful director-performer thing. It's going to be a great party, I'm Emceeing, so you should all come out and play!! October 25th, Village Ma, 8pm.

+ Sara Softly Falls is happening faster than I anticipated, and though this week I've felt a bit disconnected from it (my own doing), I'm enjoying the process of solely producing, digging into letters and numbers for pure function. I get a real thrill out of signing my name at the bottom of business letters, it's kind of sick .... November 7th (-17th), be there.

I have a mailbox at my day job. This means I officially have a desk job. I'm supposed to wear khakis/black pants to this, I've kind of been beating around that bench via striped pants and the like. I'm really good at sitting at computers and organizing things, etc .... Now, I'm learning all this new teaching work and then will help reform some infant classes. So come the winter I'll be teaching some Mommy and Me classes ... there are like 70 songs I need to learn, most of which Laura (my boss) plans on changing with me. We're revising the curriculum a bit to include more puppets (Kristen, I need your expertise!) ... And I just had this wonderful Lacanian moment watching this baby crawl around the studio next to me looking at herself in the mirror. I think we'll be including mirrors too. I'll call it the gestalt exercise .. haha.

Truth is, aside from my brain already being full of things, I am a little tentative towards Mommy and Me stuff ... I'm not a huge fan of that stuff for starters, I think parents should be investigating child development before the kid comes, but I suppose its nice to help along the way. I'm just a little worried/weirded out by 1) teaching Mommy and Me in the mornings and bar-tending in the village at night and 2) teaching Mommy and Me and not being a mom. I know a lot of people do it but .. I'm not in peds (medicine), early childhood development, and ... babies. Not really sure how my heart is on that right now. I suppose a season won't hurt and it'll be a good test ....

Some Emily for you .....

Again---his voice is at the door ---
I feel the old Degree ---
I hear him ask the servant
For such an one --- as me ---

I take a flower --- as I go ---
My face to justify ---
He never saw me --- in this life ---
I might surprise his eye!

I cross the Hall with mingled steps ---
I --- silent --- pass the door ---
I look on all this world contains ---
Just his face --- nothing more!

We talk in careless -- and in toss --
A kind of plummet strain ---
Each --- sounding --- shyly ---
Just --- how --- deep
The other's one --- had been ---

We walk --- I leave my Dog --- at home --
A tender --- thoughtful Moon
Goes with us --- just a little way ---
And --- then ---we are alone ---

Alone --- if Angels are "alone" ---
First time they try the sky!
Alone --- if those "veiled faces" --- be ----
We cannot count --- on High!

I'd give --- to live that hour --- again ---
The purple --- in my Vein ---
Be He must count the drops --- himself ---
My price for every stain!

[Emily Dickinson]

Coming Attractions/An apology

2007-10-08T13:14:00.000-04:00

Working too much, sorry I'm so bad at this blog game ...

Had a fabulous weekend though here's what's coming soon to a url near you:

+ Angels and Accordians write up
+ City Center Fall for Dance Review
+ Love Sucks (NYMF show) review
+ Once review
+ some thoughts on corporate sponsers
+ private donor fundraising campaign (thoughts on/pleads for)

Last night I took myself out on a lovely date for mexican and I saw Once ... then I went to a party full of beautiful theater people -- those of you who saw/know the premise of Once can see the ridiculous appropos (such a pretentious word, I know) here ....

Late for work at the arts center, though ...
Adieu.
Adieu.
To yeu and yeu and yeu ...

Would you like a date? Well, how 'bout next Thursday ...

2007-09-30T13:18:00.000-04:00

Halloween + Actors = ...... the Rocky Horror Picture Show of course.

Save the date to kick off your Halloween weekend properly:
October 25
9pm
The Rocky Horror Concert
at the Village Ma

-- a benefit to benefit our benefit production of The Rocky Horror Picture show coming next spring!

What better way to celebrate the coming of the Eve of All Hallows but with some sexy hallows dressed down to the (sixes and) nines (oh!) -- lots of good, dirty fun for the whole audience.

And speaking of hallows ... don't forget: this Saturday, October 6th is Angels and Accordians in Greenwood Cemetary, Brooklyn. Noon and 3:30 walks. Bring your cameras, wear sneakers and get ready for some beautiful installations. R train to 25th Street, Brooklyn, walk two blocks to 5th Avenue to the cemetary, walks begin at the main gate. Its impossible to miss.

Two Poems

2007-09-27T11:43:00.000-04:00

I hesitate to post my poetry on here for various reasons, but these two got a nice response elsewhere ...

i will come to you
this week and ask
you for three reasons
i should still love you
or care for you or even
think about you

one, two, three

and when you can't give
them to me, i will know
that i have written my last
poem about you.

----------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------

she thought they should
be more postmodern
in their love, so they
did it in the road; not
as daring as one would
hope, it was 2:30am
Scranton, Pennsylvania
on a foggy Wednesday
in August, the bars were closed,
school hadn't opened, families
were on vacation in the
Berkshires, she said that made it
intimate like Cummings, he said
that made it lonely.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Changing of the Guard Interviews

2007-09-25T09:41:00.000-04:00

My next dance criticism project is going to be a series of interviews with dancers who have danced in the "classical" modern dance companies - Graham, Limon, Ailey, etc - and then moved to the contemporary modern companies (such as Doug Varone, Parsons, etc) and/or started their own.

There's a definite shift taking place now, in terms of funding, billing at venues, and the compositional elements of dance itself and I'm really interested in hearing it from those who are right in the middle. I'm increasingly contemplative of the place of the "old", especially now that not only is Graham work old, but post-modern work like Trisha Brown and even Twyla's work is pretty much secured in history. So where does that leave us? What's this next phase about and where does everything that came before us belong? There are no dance museums. But do we need to regard Graham as old? Is any live art ever old? Shakespeare is as young as ever as Public Theater showed this summer - so why is there this undercurrent of teenage angst to break away from older modern dance, still?

Suggestions for dancers to interview are welcome, I'm particularly looking for those who have danced for the classical companies in the 1990s and at the turn of the millenium moved to contemporary companies, as this seems to have been a generational happening.

["Classical" companies include Graham, Ailey, Limon, Taylor, Cunningham ... I'll probably expand to Brown and postmodern work as well. Contemporary companies include Doug Varone, Parsons, Urban Bush Women ... ]

Should be a fun project.

On a clear day you can see ...

2007-09-25T09:02:00.000-04:00

Just as two dear friends and I were leaving a pizzeria on Lexington Avenue chatting about Cabaret who should cross 69th Street opposite of us but --

Liza Minelli.

She looked good, in her blacks, her makeup, chatting; Angelo (whom became my friend the moment he agreed in an audtion interview to crossdress for my production of Cabaret) and I instantly grabbed each other's arms and whispered simply, "Liza".

And I remembered why I love this town ...

Life is a cabaret, ol' chum, come to the cabaret ...

Across the Universe

2007-09-22T15:28:00.000-04:00

So, I did what every other cool kid did this past week - I went to see Across the Universe, technically downtown, of course.

The lovechild of Julie Taymor and others who are most likely also capitalizing on their nostalgia for an anti-war movement that was passionate, cities that were dirty but beautiful and the consistent crossroads of the good, the bad, and the ugly, Across the Universe was apparently a musical comprised of Beatles' songs.

I was ready to review this and rant on about it in terms of "film" and "musicals" but I have been stopped dead in my critical tracks by a genius remark my brother made last night when we were discussing Across the Universe:

I loved it. Not because it was a good film, but because it was a great piece of art. It was a beautiful music video, it was exactly where the art of music videos should be going, what MTV doesn't allow.

And my brother is spot on. I totally enjoyed it, there are some moments that make you go, "What?!" and moments where it goes just so wrong, but its humorous then. The music arrangements are mostly admirable, and the choice in songs was interesting. Not overly predicatable, there are some Beatles gems in here that escaped 1 and (Cirque du Soleil's) LOVE, which were refreshing to hear.

Plot wise, it was predictable, but in a way that had the whole audience (at least in the Union Square theater I was in) laughing. Characters were named after Beatles songs (Jude, Lucy, Max, Prudence, etc) and the cast performs well given their medium. The Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin characters kinda got to me, as did an overly blatent use of physical stereotypes (blond hair blue eyed kids from suburbia, etc) -- but led me to wonder how much of this culture has been sold to me. I realized that I don't really know or understand the 1960s; what I know of it, I know through the image of rebellion that was given to me. But with the 50th Anniversary of On the Road (a work that laid the foundation for much of the volkswagon traveling 60s) and this Beatles minimania, I'm left feeling like there's this notion of the radical rebellious 60s, but I don't know how much I buy - that is do I have to buy it? Buy the cds, the books, the ideas? Do I have to buy into it? Was everyday life for a whole decade full of passions, turmoil, and strong political conviction for everyone? Was it so special? Is my generation so zoned out on MTV and prozac that we'll never know what that felt like, we'll have to just see the movies?

Video Killed the Radio Star .... ?

I do think everyone should go and see Across the Universe, its a beautiful piece of music video art - and can be a great theater-going experience.

The F-word ...

2007-09-11T14:01:00.000-04:00

I'm already behind in this, my upmost apologies. I have plenty of thoughts coming your way on the current state of Broadway (recently saw some shows), the regional theater scene (meeting some good folks doing fringe and nymph and the like), money in all of this, the rehearsal process (working with Martha Bowers) and that fun crux of past and present, where does history belong in creative educations ...

But for now, I give you my latest dabbling in aesthetics. And by aesthetics I mean Freud. Because there's never enough Freudian discussions ... I am in a Da Vinci seminar, and I attempted to re-do Freud in ten pages or less focusing on that marvelous painting of The Madonna, St Anne and Child with a Lamb ... so here's something to hurt your brains a little. Lord knows writing about dead white men hurts mine after a while:

Revisiting Leonardo’s Childhood:
A Critical Re-view of Freud and Da Vinci

Dr. Sigmund Freud was a man with a very direct, defined view on most subjects that arise in human existence. Freud developed a framework and vocabulary for psycho-analysis that has transformed the Western human’s understanding of its functions. The ego, sexuality and parental relationships took on new, grandiose even presence in understanding who we are and how we function. There was one aspect of humanity where Freud’s theories and practices clash almost impressively however. An avid art collector and critic, Freud’s theories on art, artists and aesthetics consistently muddle and blur his otherwise straight forward perspective on human development. Believing that "the artist has unusually powerful instinctual demands that his introverted disposition prevents him from satisfying, [so that] he must live in a fantasy world, on the border line of neurosis" (Spector, 101), Freud’s dealing with art and artists becomes a complicated, often contradictory and incomplete one. His analysis of Leonardo Da Vinci is a perfect example of the failing of Freud’s practices in relation to his theories, one that has significantly impacted modern historians’ views on the character of Da Vinci. Freud’s reading of the very personal, the psyche, through Da Vinci’s art caused art, cultural, political, even theological scholars to revisit Da Vinci’s great works and read into them based on the Freudian findings and through a Freudian framework. The most obvious issue arising being that of Da Vinci’s sexuality, which Freud’s analysis and work of his followers base almost entirely on the
child Da Vinci’s relationship to his mother (and mother-figures). Yet, if we revisit Freud’s theories on art and his analysis of Leonardo Da Vinci and work to reconcile the two through a work of Da Vinci’s that most directly deals with these issues, the painting "Madonna, St Anne and Child with a Lamb", we will be able to revision Freud and revisit Da Vinci. Indeed by reconciling the practice (the analysis) of one of the most influential thinkers of modern Western civilization, we will find new meaning and revelations in Da Vinci; moving us to understand his work as a cultural and personal reporting, not a map to be navigated.
We use the painting of "Madonna, St Anne and Child with a Lamb" because it directly deals with the issues that arise in Freudian theory and Freud’s analysis of Da Vinci. Freudian psychoanalysis places emphasis on the physical (sexual) experiences of young children in relation to their parents, most notably the mother. Da Vinci’s painting depicts two mothers and a young boy; in it are three generations (mother-daughter, mother-son) and two gender relationships (female to female and female to male), all put into play through sacred characters, the immaculate Mary, the holy Saint Anne (whose immaculate, that is without sin, status was in debate during Da Vinci’s time) and the baby Jesus (his infant status stresses the innocent place of the son). The "Madonna, St Anne and Child with a Lamb" is of particular interest too in light of Jack C Spector’s presentation of Freud’s aesthetic theory wherein he states:
For Freud, each of us carries with him into the world
The burden of the whole race’s experiences ... This
process of being born "guilty" closely resembles the
Christian sense of guilt ... but, for Freud, the primal
event is one that occurred here on earth, and is repeated
symbolically daily in everyman’s life, not a
mystical occurrence in a higher sphere.
(Spector, 83).
It is natural then to look to the "Madonna, St Anne ..." painting, understanding the Christian undertones of guilt in Freud and the crossroads of theology and humanism present in the Da Vinci.
Freud’s analysis of Leonardo Da Vinci does of course reference the work, but not in a direct relationship to the theories he establishes. The analysis relies heavily upon the vulture memory of Leonardo, that Freud applies his direct meaning of symbols to. According to Freud, Da Vinci’s journals reveal the memory of a vulture visiting the baby Leonardo in the cradle and repeatedly caressing the baby’s lips with its tail, then inserting the tail into the child’s mouth. For Freud the dreamlike memory is a perfect springboard into Da Vinci’s psyche, as he manipulates the state of memory and symbol to his language, asserting his basic principles of mother-son relationships. This is perhaps the central fault of the Da Vinci analysis, the relying on an unsteady source with little context surrounding it. Shifting to a more tangible work, such as that to the "Madonna, St. Anne ..." allows a more solid analysis to arise, and perhaps a better end with more justice done to Leonardo as an artist, a reporter dealing with the "burden of the whole race’s experiences".
In his onset of his analysis writes that:
A man who has begun to have an inkling of and
grandeur of the universe with all its complexities
and its laws readily forgets his own insignificant self.
Lost in admiration and filled with humility, he all too
easily forgets that he himself is a part of those active
forces and that in accordance with the scale of his
personal strength the way is open for him to try
to alter a small portion of the destined course of
the world - a world in which the small is still no
less wonderful and significant than the great.
(Freud, 2252).
It almost seems ridiculous that this does not bring Freud right into the "Madonna, St. Anne ...". We can see the painting working on two levels that Freud puts forth here, that would do well to structure an aesthetic and psychoanalytic stand on - the personal and the public, here theological/philosophical. Firstly, there is the association of the man of knowledge, an enlightened man we are pushed to say, one who "has begun to have an inkling of the grandeur of the universe", with a childlike humility and passive state. So filled with awe in knowledge, the man loses sight of himself, much like a child experiencing the world anew, caught only in the act of knowing. This lets us establish a personal level of the painting, where we can safely say, based on Freud’s notions of the enlightened man, that the painter, Da Vinci, can be associated with the Child of the painting. The childlike state of knowledge and the concept of higher knowing, enlightenment allow us to easily make this association. The Christ Child becomes Leonardo - sitting with a lamb, a symbol of innocence, lost in his curiosity, his discovery. The placement of the child on the ground with the animal also reminds us of Leonardo’s work in science, his study of botany and biology; the child shares the right side of the painting with the single plant of the painting, a tree in the background. The child also shares a horizontal plane with the lamb, aligning him with innocence as noted already, but also with biology. The child’s level, on the ground, below the two women of the painting may also bring to mind a concept of "bottom-up" knowledge, that is the idea of experiential learning, that was taking hold in the Renaissance. This concept helps us crossover to the public level as well, where Da Vinci’s painting is helping us understand the possible psychological shifts of his time. A "bottom-up" theology begins to pervade, images of the child Jesus and the emphasis of Jesus as a human begin to rise throughout the general European Renaissance. Being based in Italy, Da Vinci certainly feels these rumblings, and being in communication with intellectuals and educated men who are proposing a humanist philosophy, Da Vinci stands in the midst of it. The curious Christ Child then also lets us glimpse at not just the private-public crossroad of Da Vinci, but also the humanist-theological crossroads of his times. Freud, in addition to not relying on the painting in direct relation to his theories, also misses these crossroads that seem to fit perfectly into his concept of the tight-rope walking artist, who is on that border line of neurosis.
For Freud, neurosis and all of development has its root in early childhood and the mother’s role, especially for the male. He reports in his analysis that:
Psycho-analytic investigation provides us with a
full explanation by teaching us that many, perhaps
most children, or at least the most gifted ones, pass
through a period, beginning when they are about three
which may be called the period of infantile sexual
researches. So far as we know, the curiosity of children
in this time does not awaken spontaneously, but is
aroused by the impression made by some important event
... in which the child perceives a threat to his selfish interests.
(Freud, 2255).
The Christ Child in Da Vinci’s painting appears to be at this moment. Though the age of the child is questionable, and he is probably younger than three years old, the action, the "psycho-drama" that seems to be unfolding here is the shift in the child’s place. Literally, the Virgin Mary is beginning to move the child, it is suggested by the placement of her legs to a place on her own lap - a pose very often held by the Madonna and her child in religious art. Da Vinci, on a public level, is suggesting that the Christ Child began elsewhere then, and assumed a position on his mother’s lap (as she is seated on her mother’s lap in the painting). The down-up movement of the gesture could suggest a classical understanding of moving toward enlightenment, heaven, etc. However, having noted the humanist-theological crossroad possibly present here, there seems to be a tension present in this. The Child’s holding onto the lamb and the rocky background in the upper horizontal plane do not suggest a pleasant assumption to something greater, but rather a tension filled breaking from something. The fact that this is being executed by the mother of the child brings us right to Freud, whose on work supports this reading. The son, clinging to innocence, is possibly at this moment being brought into an awareness that allows him to "perceive a threat to his selfish interests".
On the private level, it becomes harder to discern Leonardo’s role in this drama. If he is the child as we have been led to conclude by association and locus, then we must question what his mother is doing, and note the presence of two mother figures; even Freud does so, "in point of fact Leonardo has given the boy two mothers ... and both are endowed with the blissful smile of the joy of motherhood" (Freud, 2286). It was fairly common knowledge at Freud’s time as it is now that Leonardo was born illegitimately to a peasant woman, and somewhere in his childhood adopted by his higher-status father and stepmother. The two women in the painting, both mothers, easily represent Leonardo’s two mother figures. A Freudian reading of the painting takes this one step further and suggests that the separation of Leonardo happened sometime before age three, and triggered his "infantile sexual research". The child leaving the lamb and going to the mother, that is being pulled to the mother (back to the mother we can venture to say) suggests this sexual research was, according to Freud’s standards of healthy development, impeded upon by the returning to a mother figure. If St. Anne who holds the Virgin Mother on her lap and is smiling down upon the young mother and son is to be read as Leonardo’s first mother, then we can read the drama as a separation from the mother has occured but a return to the mother (a different mother, but none the less, the mother-figure) is being forced, bringing the child out of his development.
Taking the Freudian speculation so far is fruitless though in understanding Leonardo Da Vinci, as it assumes facts unavailable to us. What we can do is use it to question Leonardo’s own role and relationship to women, their role in his development and what he is saying about motherhood and/or the theological. The composition of St Anne and the Virgin Mother are striking. St. Anne sits with her grown daughter, the Immaculate Mary, on her lap, Mary’s tilted head shares the line of Anne’s shoulder - the two occupy the same space and are separated only by implied dimension. The implied dimension seems to suggest time, that Mary and Anne are somehow the same, the mother, but their shared physical space in the moment of the action helps differentiate them in relation to the child. After all, Mary is reaching for the boy, Anne’s hand rests on her hip, her child (Mary) rests on her lap. This sameness seems to be Da Vinci’s way of affirming Anne’s immaculate state, an issue in hot debate at the time. And the implied movement of the child to the same space also affirms this continuation (through generations, indeed through time, the implied dimension) of this immaculate state.
Yet, Anne and Mary are confirmed females. The Christ Child, is a man by theological decree and belief, as well as Da Vinci’s depiction. The association present here of immaculate status with the female gender raises the question of grace and enlightenment. Could Da Vinci be suggesting a union of gender for enlightenment? Freud suggests that this return to robbed him of the mother is a repression of the son’s sexual development as he notes what he believes to be Da Vinci’s life but what could read as a narrative for this painting, albeit a stretched one, "by too early maturing of his eroticism robbed him of his masculinity" (Freud, 2288) and Da Vinci’s own Christ Child clings to the lamb as his mother lifts him. What does this enlightenment cause in the child? Da Vinci seems at the very least to be portraying the psycho-drama of learning, what Freud tied exclusively to sexuality.
One more interesting complication arises - according to Freud, the typical male psychodrama of sexuality involves the rival father. "In the happiest young marriage the father is aware that the baby, especially if he is a son, has become his rival, and this is the starting point of an antagonism towards the favourite" (Freud, 2288). An important part of the Oedipus complex, the need to compete with the father for the mother, is completely absent from the painting. The Christ Child is the only male and soon to be among two females. A strictly Freudian reading would suggest too great a presence of the mother-figure. An expanded, perhaps truer reading that distorts the painting less and relies on the pure theories of Freud would suggest a feminizing of the male. Already we have stated the repression of the child’s masculinity. The feminizing of the Christ Child supports the proposed idea of gender unification and the generational continuation of grace. This sexual repression leads us back to Freud’s concept of the artist as borderline neurotic, which gives us a possible leeway into a biographical, personal reading of the painting.
It is virtually impossible to garner an entire person through any one work or even collection of works. Freud’s analysis of Leonardo Da Vinci changed the way historians and art viewers alike saw Leonardo and his work. Instead of using his theory to read the works of Leonardo, Freud used the works to further his theory. The Freudian framework, while easily and rightfully criticized holds a solid vocabulary of symbols that may help us crack the cultural code that a great artist like Leonardo Da Vinci present to us. By using his theory and reconciling the Freudian theory to a single work of Leonardo we are able to speculate at the mysterious personality behind so much work and, perhaps more importantly, come to understand gender and sexual, social and theological conversations of the time that Leonardo no doubt took part in. As for the englightened child, just as Jesus mysteriously ascended from the Earth and left us with enigmatic gospels years later, so are we left with the gospels of Leonardo, passing along to us a slice of grace.

Works References and Cited
Da Vinci, Leonardo. "Madonna, St Anne and Child with a Lamb" (painting). 1508. http://www.universalleonardo.org/
Freud, Sigmund. "Leonardo Da Vinci and a Memory of His Childhood". Freud - Complete Works. Ivan Smith. 2000.
Spector, Jack C. The Aesthetics of Freud. McGraw-Hill Book Company. New York. 1972.

Newsletter, Fall 2007

2007-08-29T11:35:00.000-04:00

Hello friends,

A friend of mine just the other day passed on a great perspective, she said, "The new year can begin whenever you're ready for it". After a challenging spring and exhaustive summer, that I seem to have shared with many, I anticipate the new year this autumn and am proud to be sending out my first newsletter in nearly six months filled with great news and dates to be saved.

Prior to a health episode which saw me off to the hospital this spring, The Newspaper Suites, a public art dance involving, yes, newspapers, as well as a sculpture solo was well received numerous times throughout the city! First on the Upper East Side outside of Hunter College, then downtown at the promo-shoot for the Dance Parade in Washington Square Park. Our friends from Sesame Street happened to be shooting in the park that day, and a key word was newspaper! N is now for Newspaper Suites which was captured by PBS/Sesame Street this April.

Dance Parade 2007 was a huge success, and though I was unable to attend, I heard fabulous things from my Newspaper dancers.

After getting back on my feet (quite literally), I had the honor of performing at Chashama's Oasis Festival this July. And while Gia Kourlas called most of us "forgettable" in her Times article (read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/18/arts/dance/18oasi.html?ex=1188532800&en=85489f56ff92537f&ei=5070) the rest of the city gave the modern dance festival a warm welcome. It was a special honor to share a bill with the Modern Dance Awareness Society and Malleable Dance Theater as well as so many other talented dance artists!

And now my new year begins and I invite you to join me in this beautiful, busy season:

+ Saturday, October 6th: Angels and Accordians. Dance Theatre Etcetera's Site Specific piece in Greenwood Cemetery returns this year. If all goes well, I will be performing, working under the beautiful Martha Bowers. Get to know a seldom visited nook of Brooklyn in an intriguing, new way!

+ Friday, October 22-27th: Globesity Festival at the Theatre for the New City, New York, NY. This festival, run by Penny Arcade, is an awareness-raising, action-causing event examining hunger and the consumer-based American culture. The artists participating will fast together in solidarity to reflect on hunger and create pieces based on the experience. Expect some radical work from artists of all walks of life and all mediums!

+ November 7-18th: Softly Sara Falls at the Looking Glass Theatre, New York, NY. Wizard Oil Productions, an emerging theater company focused on new works that are socially and politically aware and challenging present the New York City premier of this drama about domestic violence. I am honored to be working on the producing team for this production and getting involved with such a wonderful, gifted group of theater artists. Keep your eyes open for our production campaign coming up!

+ November 15-17th: Hunter College Dance Company Informal Concert. Hunter Studio Theater, New York, NY. A concert of works-in-progress from the next generation of modern dancers and choreographers. Get acquainted with one of the city's gems for dance, a department snuggled up on the 6th floor of a NeoGothic building on the Upper East Side that's nurturing modern dance's future!

Finally, I've launched a new blog (ah ha, go ahead and laugh) in the hope of stimulating some conversation and interest on whats going on in the arts in NYC and abroad. Articles and blurbs as well as calls for shows and projects will be posted - come by and say hi at http://ceaselessrosemary.blogspot.com

Gratitude -- is not the mention
Of a Tenderness,
But its still appreciation
Out of Plumb of Speech.

When the Sea return no Answer
By the Line and Lead
Proves it there's no Sea, or rather
A remoter Bed?
[Emily Dicksinon]

Thank you to everyone who has come out and supported me through these last two seasons and for supporting new artists in this city. There is so much happening this fall, I hope you come out and celebrate my new year with me and enjoy the season and its beautiful colors.

Be well, take care and celebrate!

Peace,
Patrice

Print Sale

2007-08-29T11:18:00.000-04:00

The incredible Claudia Drake, a dear friend and gifted artist, is having a print sale now - I encourage everyone to get a print of hers at these prices as her upcoming shows are bound to boost her prices!

Call for Actors

2007-08-28T08:40:00.000-04:00

Wizard Oil Productions will be producing the New York City premier of Jay D. Hanagan's drama Softly Sara Falls this fall and is holding an open call for actors.

The contemporary full drama in one act deals with domestic violence - work on par with Wizard Oil's mission to produce socially and politically aware and challenging theater.

The show will run weekends November 7-18 at the Looking Glass Theater in Midtown Manhattan.

Rehearsals will be throughout September and October.

Auditions are Sept 12th and Sept 13th, callbacks on Saturday, September 15th.

Contact: Patrice Miller patrice.miller.1@gmail.com with headshot and resume (to be forwarded to the director) for an audition appointment.

Audition will require two contrasting, preferably contemporary monologues. Callbacks will consist of paired readings of sides from the play.

Characters:
Sara: a woman, perhaps thirty-something
Grant Keyes: Sara's husband.
Reed Mulberry: A friend of Sara's.
Tanys Hartman: A friend of Sara's.
Rev. Leah Carter: An old friend of Sara's.

Another day, another blog ...

2007-08-27T19:01:00.000-04:00

So I've jumped (back) to blogger, hoping to stay focused this run around. My personal stuff is on livejournal, where my online journaling/blogging habits were born and raised. However, this is my formal forum if you will. A place where you can read all about the tiny dancer in the big apple. Etc Etc Etc ...

I'm hoping to generate conversation and general interest in the place I find myself in New York as a young artist and academic. It's a very different New York and America than the great predecessors knew, and as I attempt to conquer Broadway from the top of the park to the bottom of the Bowery, it'd be nice to hear from others. So expect a lot of links to articles, a lot of blabbing on starting up a company (or two), a whole lot of talk about arts education, and general musings on process and good places to go/do/be.

The fall season is packed for me with a festival, a site specific dance project, a regional drama, modeling, and that little thing called schooling. Lots of work, which means this winter there'll be lots of playing!

So cheers, slainte, merde! Hahaha.